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It's been almost a year since the thread of a possible retreat design began forming. Since then, I've been leaning into parts only to finding myself shutting down and distancing from them when the frustration that things weren’t progressing started to set in.

Essentially, I was getting frustrated with myself for the lack of progress, as I had given myself a personal deadline to create the retreat, and I wasn't meeting it. I started questioning my abilities and readiness and then...

It is morning and here I am trying to get up and get on with my day. Like the past couple of days, today is another early start, with little-to-no sleep. I try to get myself out of bed, and with all my attempts, it feels like my body isn’t ready. I tried to negotiate with it. Giving it time, but it's not working. I lean in and ask it, "what do you need to wake up?" What I heard isn’t what I wanted to and yet was not surprising. My body responded “I need you to...

Like everyone else, pre-Covid-19, I had in place rituals that helped me stay connected to the world and the people I loved. My life had a structure that helped me work toward the future I wanted to create for myself, it had meaning.

All those rituals helped me feel that I am in control of my life and in-charge of my own destiny. All these rituals made me feel safe, connected and dignified.

Like everyone else, when Covid happen, I felt all kinds of feelings but most importantly, I felt the...